Perks of Being a Person of a Certain Age
Kidnappers are not very interested in you.
In a hostage situation, you are likely to be released first.
No one expects you to run – anywhere.
People call at 9 PM and ask, "Did I wake you?”
People no longer view you as a hypochondriac.
There is nothing left to learn the hard way.
Things you buy now won't wear out.
You can eat dinner at 4 PM.
You can live without intimacy, but not without your glasses.
You enjoy hearing about other people’s operations.
Your eyes won't get much worse.
Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable number.
You can't remember the website where you saw this list.